Friends Fall In Love- A Taste Of Insanity
by Devilzzz
Summary: Cho's big secret, Harry and Herm, SLEPT TOGETHER?, Ron and an old man with an umbrella?? Its not what you think! Ginny pregnant with a teacher's baby?OMYGOD!!! This is my third INSANE fic SO HERES A LITTLE TASTE OF INSANITY!!!!!
1. The Romance Is Flaming

Disclaimer: I dont own harry potter, JK DOES. Summary: Cho's big secret, Harry and Herm, SLEPT TOGETHER?, Ron and an old man with an umbrella?? Its not what you think! Ginny pregnant with a teacher's baby?OMYGOD!!! This is my third INSANE fic which I wrote while I was drunk, so do not flame, cuz this is parody!!!! I luv JK, but HERES A LITTLE TASTE OF INSANITY!!!!!! A/N (Which You'll See In The Bottom Too): I am not really perverted. I was just in a funny mood, and somehow my fingers started out something nasty. Hehe. It is a bit funny, you have to admit it...don't worry, this is just fun, so DO NOT FLAME ME. "GINNY PREGNANT! YOU SICK! SNAPE? YOU SICK!" dont bother with that, please. Its just a parody.....DO NOT FLAME, DO NOT FLAME!!!! I am not J.K. so just enjoy the insanity you can only have from me!!! (p.s. I was drunk when i wrote this, so another reason to NOT FLAME ME NOT FLAME ME!)  
  
***  
  
"I love sixth year, don't you?" asked Hermoine sighing deeply. She was already wearing her robes on the train, and her hair was tidied up into a bun except a few curls that were hanging over her eyes matched perfectly with her fashion style. "I am just happy it's not 7th year yet. I hate going to live with the Dursleys all my life after that, although probably they may murder me before I even get a life." said Harry Potter. Harry Potter, the boy who survived the great lord with his horrid scar and his gleaming green eyes and his parselmouth.  
  
Ron Weasley, sat between them, in the middle and it was quite a triplet. He had flaming red hair, and he had grown quite muscular these days, no matter what anybody had said. But Harry was still skinny, although his face had fairly handsome. Hermoine changed the most. "Oh c'mon, Harry surely you plan to get married someday?" she asked, her cheeks blushing and her eyelashes fluttering. Ron turned a bit red from anger, but produced yet another fake smile of flirting between them.  
  
Harry shrugged. "I've never thought of that kind of life before...and it would be really painful to get married without my parents by my side." his voice choked down a bit at the sentence, and he looked down at his shoes while the Hogwarts Train kept on going and lurching while it did.  
  
"Don't worry Harry, you'll get married. All of us will." said Ron. Inside though, his heart was beating and his stomach fluttering around with butterflies. He just hoped he got married to the girl he always wanted, but this was from deep inside, he didn't know yet that he was in love with Hermoine Granger, nobody knew but people suspected, especially Harry.  
  
"Who're you getting married to, Ron?" asked Harry teasingly.  
  
Ron stiffened at the question, although he didn't know why. It was a simply teasing question that Ron should've shrugged at. "I don't know."  
  
Hermoine looked surprised. "You don't? What about Fleur?"  
  
Ron shook his head. "She's out of my life now, although she never chose to be in it."  
  
"Well, I know exactly who I am going to marry now." said Hermoine dreamily.  
  
"WHO!" Ron and Harry asked at the same time. "Its a secret." she said and winked.  
  
Sure it is, Harry thought.  
  
***  
  
After the feast was over, they were sent to their common rooms to rest. Ron had fallen asleep and so had the other Griffindors, but Harry lay on the bed with his eyes wide open.  
  
Would Ron ever ask Hermoine out? Even though Harry loved Ron like a brother, he couldn't withdraw his own ambitions. He had some feelings for Hermoine too. like whenever she touched him, he could feel electricity go through his body. But it was obvious that Hermoine was falling for Ron, and he didn't want to make his friend unhappy. That was why he hadn't said anything at the Yule Ball, where the truth was told.  
  
He quietly got out of his bed and into the girl's griffindor common room. He passed by the beds and saw that the shadow of Hermoine was awake.  
  
"Harry, what're you doing here?"  
  
"I couldn't sleep."  
  
"Me neither."  
  
"herm?"  
  
"MMmmm?"  
  
"Do you...never mind."  
  
"No go on."  
  
"Nothing. Nada. never mind. How's it going with Ron?"  
  
"How should I know?"  
  
"Well remember the Yule Ball?"  
  
"Mmm?"  
  
"When you said Ron should ask you before getting mad?"  
  
"Not the exact words, but go on..."  
  
"Well, do you like Ron?"  
  
"Well of course! I love Ron! I would die for any one of my friends if nesseciary."  
  
"No..."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Not that! I am talking about do you like him as a boyfriend."  
  
"Harry potter! You are getting nosy these days! It's none of your buisness, but of course not! Why would I?" Hermoine said her cheeks flaming into a smile.  
  
"I know you do."  
  
"What rubbish! I don't know what your talking about!"  
  
"Then who was your secret husband?"  
  
"Again, stop being so nosy! But if you really want to know, it's not Ron."  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"I swear."  
  
Harry gulped. Hermoine never sworn before in her life.  
  
"Anything else?" she asked eagerly.  
  
"No..." Harry said dully.  
  
Hermoine smiled and laughed. "Don't worry, Harry, you'll find out who it is."  
  
"How?"  
  
"Experience."  
  
And she shoved him out the door.  
  
What she mean by experience? Harry thought eagerly about this, but finally drifted off to sleep until sunshine beamed out of the window.  
  
***  
  
"Hey harry."  
  
"Oh hey Cho. Haven't seen you for a long time."  
  
"Listen, I know you have class, but I was wondering if maybe we could talk sometime."  
  
"Abbout..whatt?"  
  
"You know, cedric and all. I just want to get to know you."  
  
"Sure."  
  
"Okay."  
  
After Cho had left and turned away to walk down the hall, Harry felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned around only to see Hermoine.  
  
"Having fun?" she asked bitterly.  
  
"Whattya mean?"  
  
"Nothing. I am just tired because of a certain person coming into my room late last night!"  
  
"Who?"  
  
They both turned around and saw Ron.  
  
"Oh hey Ron."  
  
"Hi. What are you talking about?"  
  
"Oh herm's just saying gibberish."  
  
"No, what?"  
  
"Oh, Harry and I couldn't sleep so we talked last night and then I finally forced him to leave and I couldn't get any sleep."  
  
"What did you talk about?"  
  
"Tutttt..!! You guys are soooo nosy!" she said, storming away.  
  
Ron turned to Harry.  
  
"What is she talking about?"  
  
"Nothing, don't mind her."  
  
"I can mind whoever I want to."  
  
"Ron, whats up with you?"  
  
"What did you talk to her for?"  
  
"I couldn't sleep?"  
  
"Thats why you decided, oh let me sleep on Hermoine's bed?"  
  
"Who said anything disgusting like that?"  
  
"You don't have to"  
  
"Ron, what is the matter with you? All I did was go to the common room and talk to her."  
  
There was a silence.  
  
"Did you ask her about her future husband?"  
  
Harry stiffened.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Who is it?"  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"Sure you don't."  
  
"You act like I got drunk and slept with her and I just got out of Juvinelle detention or something?"  
  
"Two outta three's not bad."  
  
"RON!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Tell me whats wrong."  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"I know..."  
  
"Know what!"  
  
"That you like Hermoine!"  
  
"WHAT!"  
  
"Yup."  
  
"You little british bastard!"  
  
Harry only chuckled.  
  
******  
  
"Ron thought I slept with you."  
  
"He thought WHAT!"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Was..he jealous, do you think?"  
  
"Is that why're your going out with me, to make him jealous?"  
  
"GOING OUT? Woah, Harry what're you talking about?"  
  
"Oh sorry, I just said the wrong thing."  
  
"Sure you did..."  
  
"And what did you mean by experience?"  
  
"Harry, can't you figure things out on your own?"  
  
"Hermoine, can't you just give me a break?"  
  
"Harry, Can't you stop being so nosy?"  
  
"Hermoine, can you stop giving me a reason?"  
  
"Harry, can you stop being so cute!!!"  
  
There was a long silence.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Until Harry and Hermoine collided with each other and kissed. "We cant do this." Hermoine said, pushing him away.  
  
"Of course we cant..."  
  
"Nooo"  
  
Another long silence until Harry grabbed Hermoine's neck and kissed her hard on the lips and they both fell to the floor, rubbing their foreheads.  
  
***  
  
"Do you know where Harry is?"  
  
"No, Cho. Why?"  
  
"He was supposed to meet me here now."  
  
"Is that so?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Have you seen Hermoine?"  
  
"Nope, not her either."  
  
"You don't think..."  
  
"No! Harry's just a bit late I know it."  
  
"Sure he is..."  
  
Suddenly, Hermoine appeared, her shirt ripped and her hair uncombed. "Oh hey Ron."  
  
"Where've you been! Whats happend?"  
  
"Nothing..."  
  
"OMYGOSH!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"You slept with Harry!"  
  
"Ew! No I didn't Cho."  
  
"You did."  
  
"No I didn't...I dont even know where harry is!"  
  
"Here I am.." said Harry coming out.  
  
"Your late!"  
  
"Am I? Sorry..lets go to Hogesmade now."  
  
"Not so fast, Potter!" said a cold voice behind them.  
  
  
  
  
  
note: herm was telling the truth except about the part of where harry was. ****  
  
"Proffesor Snape!"  
  
"Yes...do all of you have premission slips to go to Hogesmade?"  
  
"Yes..."  
  
"Fine, scurry along, the sooner the better." 


	2. Insanity Starts: WARNING!

OKAY KIDDIES, THIS IS WHERE THE INSANITY STARTS, SO PLEASE CLICK BACK IF YOU ENJOYED THE FIRST CHAPPIE BUT DONT WANT ANYTHING TO SPOIL YOUR MOMENT. CLICK BACK NOW, CUZ IF YOU DONT AND READ AND FLAME ME, YOU'LL TURN INTO A BITCH.  
  
  
  
****  
  
Cho and Harry decided to sit near a lake in Hogesmade.  
  
"Whattya think Herm and Ron are talking about?"  
  
"I dont know."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Listen Harry, I told you I wanted to talk to you about something."  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"Well..never mind."  
  
"No, what?"  
  
"You'll freak out."  
  
"I won't."  
  
"Promise?"  
  
"I swear."  
  
"Um well i love you Harry, but thats not what I wanted to tell you.."  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"You know Sandy Binns in Ravenclaw?"  
  
"Yeahhhh...."  
  
"Harry dont freak out please!"  
  
"Ii...i wont.."  
  
"Please."  
  
"I WONT!"  
  
"I think I am falling in love with her."  
  
Harry fell into the lake.  
  
****************************** Ron and Hermoine had gone to a drugstore.  
  
"Why're we here?"  
  
"I dunno!"  
  
"ROOONNN!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Argghhh I hope Cho doesnt mess with Harry."  
  
"Why? Shes a free person."  
  
"Yeah but..."  
  
"I knew it!"  
  
"Knew what?"  
  
"You slept with him!"  
  
"Did not!"  
  
"Did too!"  
  
"I didnt"  
  
"Yeah sure."  
  
"Whatever..I am gonna sit down and read a magazine. Ooohh this seat is soft..."  
  
"HERMOINE!"  
  
"WHAT!  
  
"YOUR..."  
  
Hermoine turned around. She realized she was sitting on an old man.  
  
"Woops! Sorry!" she tried to say, but tripped and the old man started chasing them with an umbrella.  
  
They ran out, the man after them and Hermoine yelled, "I AM NEVER GOING WITH YOU TO HOGESMADE AGAIN, RON!"  
  
*****  
  
"Wow..."  
  
"Yeah...I can't believe it either."  
  
"Well, take your shirt off and let me dry you..you must be freezing."  
  
"I am."  
  
There was a pause as Harry took his shirt off and Hermoine started putting the towel around his chest.  
  
"So how was your...?"  
  
He stopped talking as Hermoine leaned over and kissed him again.  
  
This time his tongue rolled into her teeth. Suddenly,Hermoine screamed. "OUCH! You bit my lip!"  
  
Hermoine's lip was bleeding.  
  
"Sorry..."  
  
"I'll be right back."  
  
There was a long silence as Hermoine hurried off to clean the cut and then Cho appeared in the doorway.  
  
"Oh..cho..."  
  
"Harry, I was wondering, since Sandy isn't falling for me, would you mind if I asked Hermoine out?"  
  
"YOU WHAT!"  
  
"Harry! Are you all right?" asked Hermoine,hurrying to him.  
  
"Oh..Cho."  
  
"Hermoine..I was wondering if you'd like to go on a girl nature walk on Hogesmade next weekend?"  
  
Hermoine shrugged but stiffened as Cho rubbed Hermoine's shoulder.  
  
"NO!" she screamed.  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Cuz...you....you....you look like a squirrel!" she said, running away.  
  
"Ohmygosh..I never knew that."  
  
"Well, you do now."  
  
"Maybe you could do me a favor Harry?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Get Herm to agree on a threesome,would you?"  
  
"NO! NEVER! GET AWAY FROM ME!"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Your disgusting!"  
  
"But...but..."  
  
"Get away!"  
  
"Okay fine!"  
  
Cho left and Harry breathed and out. He didn't know then that he had only hurt his own life and ruined it.  
  
"I know something's going on..."  
  
"Ron, what're you talking about?"  
  
"Hermoine, I wanted to ask you something."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"But before I do,have you ever had a weird feeling around Cho?"  
  
"Uh no." Hermoine lied.  
  
"Okay. Well..."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Will you..er..."  
  
"Uh huh?"  
  
"Never mind."  
  
"No tell me..."  
  
"Will you go out with me?"  
  
long silence....  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Yes ron, I'd be happy too."  
  
******  
  
"YOUR WHAT!"  
  
"I am going out with Ron!"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Don't worry, I'll break his heart."  
  
"How?"  
  
"Don't worry about it..."  
  
"I can't let you do that to my best friend, Herm."  
  
"I thought I was your best friend!"  
  
"Your my girlfriend, not his!"  
  
"Don't worry...hey whats this in the trash can?"  
  
*gasp*  
  
"What?"  
  
"Its a pregnancy test..."  
  
"WHAT?"  
  
"And..."  
  
"And what?"  
  
"Its positive...harry, someone in Hogwarts is pregnant."  
  
The next day, the school was roaring of rumors about the pregnancy test. Since Hermoine and Harry had given it to Dumbledore, of course the secret was out in less than a second. As they walked together to the great hall, everyone crowded them.  
  
"Harry, whos pregnant?"  
  
"Does dumbledore know who?"  
  
"Does Herm know?"  
  
"Why didn't you tell me?"  
  
All these questions suffocated Harry's head as he went the gryffindor table.  
  
"Hey Ron."  
  
"Don't hey me, Hermoine!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"What're you talking about?"  
  
"I know you guys are already going out."  
  
"How?"  
  
"Harry told me."  
  
"Harrrriieeee!"  
  
"Don't turn to him. Hermoine,how could you do this?"  
  
"I am sorry."  
  
"You should be you little ____"  
  
"I deserved that."  
  
"You sure did."  
  
They looked around.Trying to make conversation, harry said, "So, hows the family?"  
  
"Pretty good.Except Ginny's sick with a fever. poor thing, throwing up and all."  
  
"Too bad...mind if I check on her?" asked Hermoine.  
  
"Go ahead."  
  
A few minutes later, Hermoine grabbed Harry onto the hall as Ron gave them suspicous looks.  
  
"What?"  
  
"HARRY! I FOUND OUT WHOS PREGNANT!"  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Ginny!"  
  
"WHAT!"  
  
They both turned around to see Ron with his cheeks flaming.  
  
"Ginny's er pregnant? How did you figure it out?"  
  
"Ron, did you already know?"  
  
"I suspected..omygod my life is ruined!"  
  
"You mean Ginny's life is ruined!"  
  
"No! Me and Ginny!"  
  
"Whattya mean?"  
  
Ron looked at them curiously, "You dont know whos the father do you?"  
  
"No...who?"  
  
"Nope."  
  
"Its me."  
  
"No your not." said a voice behind them. It was Ginny Weasley, her face sweating and her stomach bulging out slightly.  
  
"What!"  
  
"Ron, whattya think I am? A prissy prude?"  
  
"So your saying this is not Ron's baby? I cant believe you guys slept with each other though."  
  
"WE WHAT! EWWWW WE NEVER DID THAT!"  
  
"Then...you lied, Ron?"  
  
"I only wanted to protect Ginny."  
  
"I can defend myself, Ron."  
  
"Please, Ginny, keep your pride and your reputation...you need it."  
  
"Its okay to make mistakes."  
  
"Who's the real father then?"  
  
"Harry, why did you have to ask my sister that question?"  
  
"Why shouldn't I? Your the one with the nastiest lie in the world to protect her."  
  
"I would die for her."  
  
"Whatever...whos the father Ginny?"  
  
There was a long silence. "Its....  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
snape"  
  
The next morning, everybody had gotten over their hesteria. Ginny was still up in the common room, sulking and Hermoine was asking Ron for forgiveness again. Harry was trying to make Cho feel better, but whenever he had tried to talk to her, she had cried and ran out of the great hall. Harry and Hermoine were talking to each other while going to class.  
  
"Harry, I think the school needs to calm down a bit..."  
  
"Yeah, I mean how bad can you get, Hermoine?"  
  
"Its not just me you know."  
  
"I know."  
  
"Well, whattya think about a little spell?"  
  
"What KIND of spell?"  
  
"I picked it up in the library...it's to get us to relax and be more ....mature I guess."  
  
"I guess that couldn't hurt...is it on the whole school?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Okay, go ahead."  
  
"I'll do it this afternoon."  
  
"Good luck."  
  
"I don't need it, trust me!"  
  
But she was wrong.  
  
*** As a large form of explosion hit the school, Harry and Ron were coughing up the smoke and so was everyone else. Suddenly, everything became quiet and then Fred and George burst into laughter. For Percy had grown a huge gray goatee and wide eyebrows.  
  
"Thats what Herm meant by Mature?" said Ron. Harry nodded. Suddenly, Hermoine, wearing a tight leather skirt and pink top ran toward them. Her hair was cut short. "What...?"  
  
Hermoine had a panicked look on her face. "Uh Apparently I become a trashman and a buisness woman when I grow up..anyway, come quick!"  
  
"WHY?"  
  
"UH..you know when I said that it makes us a little more mature? I meant older. Ginny's having the baby!!!"  
  
A/N: I am not really perverted. I was just in a funny mood, and somehow my fingers started out something nasty. Hehe. It is a bit funny, you have to admit it...don't worry, this is just fun, so DO NOT FLAME ME. "GINNY PREGNANT! YOU SICK! SNAPE? YOU SICK!" dont bother with that, please. Its just a parody.....DO NOT FLAME, DO NOT FLAME!!!! I am not J.K. so just enjoy the insanity you can only have from me!!! (p.s. I was drunk when i wrote this, so another reason to NOT FLAME ME NOT FLAME ME 


End file.
